It’s weird to grow up in a family where you know you’re loved but you don’t feel loved. And then later in adulthood you understand how almost impossible it seems to cross that distance and let yourself experience closeness, how otherworldly love feels now and how love feels unbearable at times. You flinch when someone tries to wholeheartedly love you. And over and over you see so clearly how you cannot be loved unless it’s from afar and love is mixed with that familiar sensation of distance and coldness.
when Florence Welsh said “What a thing to admit that when someone looks at me with real love I don’t like it very much / Kinda makes me feel like I’m being crushed”
Honestly, people generally don’t want much… They want to eat their favorite food. They want to go to the seaside and smell the fresh air. They want to nap on the grass and listen to music. They want to hold their loved ones in their arms, and be held in return. They want warm clothes, be occupied with a profession/a hobby that does not smother them. They want to feel safe and unafraid. Mostly, they want to live without being ridiculed, manipulated or being forced. And this is why capitalism/modern life overall is so upsetting, depressing and even destructive. Because thinking about how small and simple things you yearn for & how hard it is to even be able to have them really wears you off
“Give people what they need: food, medicine, clean air, pure water, trees and grass, pleasant homes to live in, some hours of work, more hours of leisure. Don’t ask who deserves it. Every human being deserves it.”
